Not Apologizing For Only Having One Child

This past week alone, I have had not one, but two snide comments about only having one child. One of those comments even made a dig at the fact that I have a semi older child, so my life is much easier. I am not one to be offended, that is not really where my post is headed, but if you are waiting for me to apologize for choosing to have one child or to somehow console you because you chose to have more than one, it will not happen. Absolutely not, actually never.

I would not really call having one child an absolute choice for me. I will not bore you with the full blown story, but having another baby had the potential to take my life and/ or the life of this non-existent baby. The risk was not worth it to us. Despite the horrible birth of our child, we somehow both came out alive, and healthy. The way I saw it, was we could try for another, but was it worth risking my life, and leaving the child I already had without a mother? Was it worth losing the next baby and carrying that weight for life? We made our decision. (Photo: 6 days old)

On top of all the medical reasons, we soon found out that we enjoyed only having one child. It is not a crime, and like I said, I will not apologize for it.

We're not super wealthy, and I wanted my child to have a little bit more in life than I had. My childhood was not horrible, but we never really went anywhere, and for reasons I am not 100% sure about. So there's not really a sense of blame here. If we had more than one child, our resources would be stretched thinner and I was not fond of that. Nor did I want my husband gone longer than he already was to provide for another baby, that we did not need to have. Kids are not dying by 5 years old anymore, and we are already over populated.

Abigail was the prime example of a super easy baby/kid. She breastfed easily until 16 months. Always ate her food. Slept through the night by 6 weeks. Was fully potty trained (yes, even overnight) by 2. Adults would go out of their way to tell me how crazy it was that they could have a full blown conversation with a 2 year old. She has a super sweet nature, loves life and listens like a champ. (She does push her Daddy's buttons though) Having another was a gamble, I already suffer from mental health issues (and we won't even bring up the post-partum I dealt with, scariest shit in my life), I couldn't imagine having another who was opposite of her. Heck, or even slightly different. I personally would not have been able to handle it. 

My husband and I met in high school. I would not call us sweethearts, but rather two confused souls who found each other to be perfect. We have had many years of conversations and amazing growth in our relationship, that we are yearning for the days that we can have romantic date nights again. Mini get-aways and uninterrupted moments. We (God willing) will have that sooner than we would have, if we had more kids.

I have a lot of freedom during my days. Yes, I obviously have to feed my kid, wipe her butt and get her ready if we need to go somewhere, but other than that, she's got her own little mind and goes off into her own little world. She's highly creative and imaginative (Have you met Punga and Ruby?). I have never sat her down and taught her anything, yet she can write letters, knows the alphabet and can count. She's very smart because she observes and listens to everything and everyone. She has her days when she wants some cuddle sessions, which don't bother me a bit, and sometimes she wants to help me clean, but other than that I have my own life. I treasure that, I don't feel guilt. I was not meant for motherhood, in theory, but that's for a different post.

So maybe these individuals who felt the need to throw shade at someone with only one child, is partly envying my lifestyle (or that it looks "easy" ...Mind you, I have bad anxiety, so what is deemed easy to one, is not to me)? Maybe they could not come up with something else negative to say, because I have not thrown any negative energy into the air in a long time, so it was an easy blow. What ever their reason, always remember. We both had the same CHOICE and DECISIONS. I chose mine and well, you chose yours.